Iconic Feminine – Advice to a New Wife (How to Win the War of Marriage)


My Darling Rachel,

Watching you say your vows, I was both excited and scared for you and Jake.  So young.  So hopeful. So unaware.

You haven’t just gotten married: you have declared war.

Marriage is the creation of God Himself, given to us as a reflection of His own being as Trinity.  God in three persons.  The two shall become one flesh.  This beauty was evident in your eyes as you looked at one another; in your voices as you stammered through your vows; in your anxious smiles.

Just as real as God is the evil that hates this and will never stop trying to tear you apart.  And it will use anything and everything it can to do it. Even your love.

Your love for each other.  Your love for your family.  Your love for yourself.  Even your love for God.  It will twist everything and turn it inside out, upside down.  Convince you that black is white and pink is blue.  Thankfully, there are certain truths you can cling to so that when all else is dark, you will have a light.

Pray. In the morning. In the evening. In the middle of the night.  When you do the dishes. When you walk the dog. When you’re mad. When you’re happy. Pray for yourself. Pray for your husband. Pray for your children. Ask God for His mercy on you every moment of every day. He will not fail you.

Find and live in your own space; even if it is only a room over a shop somewhere.  Make sure it has a door you can lock, and that behind that door, only your family (and by that, I mean the two of you) has authority. You are now each other’s top priority.  More than your parents. More than your grandparents.  More than your pets.  More than your (someday) children. Your first duty is to each other.  When anything else comes into conflict with that, you MUST choose your spouse over them all.  It is important you establish YOUR home, not focus on another’s home. I have been there. This will create more conflict than you can fathom.